BONUS 4 – Scientology

March 31, 2017

Scientology. What do they believe? How did it begin? Who, exactly, was L Ron Hubbard? What appeal does it have for Tom Cruise? So much crazy revealed on this OT9, beyond clear, Sea Org edition of Timesuck.

The “E-meter” auditing tool

Early pulp fiction Sci-fi novel written by Hubbard

L Ron posing as a naval badass

L Ron wearing a Captain’s hat like a silly asshole

The Ronald whipping up some more scripture

Scientology starter kit

Sea Org promotional poster

The many faces of Scientology’s golden boy

Cruise and David Miscavige being cool bros


  1. Pete Sciarrino says:

    Scientology is proof that Rick from your stand up could definitely make a salmon slapping religion of his own. Great episode so far Dan. Love hearing about crazy people.

    1. admin says:

      Haha. Thanks Pete! If only Rick was a little more charismatic, he could’ve had a little cult of his own.

  2. Doc strange says:

    Man venturing down this crazy ass rabbit hole makes me feel like I was in the Looney bin for an hour and a half you are the fucking man can’t wait for the Pablo escobar Episode it’s gonna suck so hard….Keep it up Dan your fucking awesome

    1. admin says:

      Haha. Thanks Doc. I’m excited to dig into Pablo as well. I watched Narcos on Netflix and loved it. I want to know how much was accurate.

  3. Jason Allen says:

    I don’t use I-tunes, otherwise I would rate your show a 5 star or whatever it uses. I’ve been using stitcher but I can’t find where to leave a comment or rate it there either. So hopefully this works as a positive response to your amazing podcast. I always knew scientology was bat shit crazy but this really shown the light on just how F- ed up they really are. I didn’t know Remini was one. I’m going to listen to her interview with Joe Rogan next. Amazing job again.

    1. Nick Deshaw says:

      Hey Dan

      If you do end up getting death threats, you should read a few in the next podcast just to show just how crazy these people are.
      Love your work. Keep on SUCKING!

      1. admin says:

        Thanks Nick. Nothing so far – damn it! I think their general policy is to just not listen to anything that speaks against their cult. I gotta hope that higher ups hear it and come after me!

    2. admin says:

      Thanks Jason! This absolutely works. I really appreciate you taking the time to leave a nice comment. And yes – you should listen to the Leah Remini interview. When I worked on her first show I heard she was scared to talk about it. Glad she’s calling them on their shit now.

  4. Keith Lane says:

    Another scrotally ballsome suckfest! Dick move with Michael McDonald reference, and now my brain wont switch off “ya mo be there”. Love the intense amount of research you do on these, keep em coming!

    1. admin says:

      Haha. That was a dick move. You got McDonald’d! Thanks Keith.

  5. Aaron says:

    Wow, these are so in depth! (Definitely a TimeSuck) I started listening to these because you are f***ing hilarious, but I end up learning so much about things i would never think to dig into too, so thanks for doing the hard part! Keep doing these interesting/controversial topics, and I’ll keep suckin! Ps I’m a Huge fan of your stand up!

    1. admin says:

      Thanks Aaron! So glad you like both the standup and the podcast. That makes me feel good. Hope you keep listening!

  6. Alexander Olivas says:

    Big fan can’t get enough love this podcast favorite episode love that puppy squeak, I’m raising a puppy as well an I can relate to dan Cummins

    1. admin says:

      Haha. Thanks Alexander. Glad no one seemed to mind Penny’s puppy squeaks!

  7. Kasey Frank says:

    I told a friend of mine about this episode and it sparked her curiosity about their crazy beliefs and she ended up getting sucked in herself. She came across the scientology personality test and decided to see what kind of questions were on it. She described the 200 questions as’cult like to see how easily brainwashed someone can be.” Unfortunately she can only get her results in person…so I guess she will never know.

  8. William says:

    Hey Dan i listen to you comedy and this pod cast a lot while i work helps me stay in good mood. I find them pretty informative and interesting on the topics favorite was the is we getting dumbest which i agree we are. But wanted to ask you to look into doing a episode on Jacque fresco and his Venus project he has in Florida. Also i find it just amazing hes 100 years old but looks more like a 80 something he still dose speeches i believe really interesting guy invented a lot of things.

    Here is a good link to video interview on him:

    1. admin says:

      Thanks William! And thank you for the link. I will check it out and add Jacque to the topic list.

  9. Lori Kettner says:

    Brilliant research invested!! And the squeaky toy backround made me spew coffee, adorablenesss woven into a brilliant and hilarious research project!!

    1. admin says:

      Haha! Penny is pretty damn cute. She’s not a fan of the podcast though – it takes time away from her getting her belly rubbed!

  10. Richard T Roberts says:

    What is even crazier than Scientology is that Shaq actually has a podcast.

  11. Spencer Riley says:

    You mentioned joe rogan a couple times during this episode, you should go on the joe rogan experience.

    1. admin says:

      Would love to. Hope he has me on one of these days!

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