The Church of Satan! How many babies do they sacrifice? Do the babies have to be Christian? How many virgins are presented to dudes wearing robes or devil horns or goat masks at their orgies? Do any of these questions actually pertain to real Satanism? Today we look mostly at LaVayen Satanism - the most common and well known branch of Satanic worship - and we look at its founder, Anton LaVey. Will your preconceived notions of what Satanism is supposed to be actually match the truth? You'll find out when you listen to today's Satanic episode of Timesuck. Hail Lucifina!

Check out Lynze and I's new horror podcast Scared to Death. Listen on Spotify, Stitcher, iTunes, Youtube, and more! Here's the iTunes link: CLICK HERE

Donating $3200 this month to the nonprofit - Holding Out Help. 

Happy Murder Tour Standup dates: (full calendar at

November 1-2 Columbus, OH Funny Bone Comedy Club CLICK HERE for tix!

November 7-9 Denver, CO Comedy Works (downtown) CLICK HERE for tix!

November 10 - Denver, CO LIVE TIMESUCK CLICK HERE for tix!

November 21-23 Grand Rapids, MI Dr. Grins (at the B.O.B) CLICK HERE for tix!

November 23 Grand Rapids, MI LIVE TIMESUCK CLICK HERE for tix!

Listen to the best of my standup on Spotify! (for free!)

For Hims! Try hims today by starting out with a FREE online visit. Go to

Watch the Suck on Youtube: Coming Soon


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Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.