A: First - pray to Nimrod. BEG HIM TO SHOW YOU MERCY! Then, contact the Bit Elixir team and they will help you out. It’s what they’re here for! Email them at timesuckapp@bitelixir.co
 
Hail Nimrod!
A: STEP 1! Create a Space Lizard username! If you’ve already done this, skip to step 2.

On the home page of both the Timesuck app and the website, www.timesuckpodcast.com , there is a “Sign In” button. Push it. Then, on the bottom of the page, you’ll see a link that says “Sign Up”. Push that.
 
Now you should see a screen that says “Join the Suck!”. Fill out the info in the provided boxes for First Name, Last Name, Email, Username (have fun with that!), Password, and Confirm Password. And boom! You’re in. If you have any problems, email Bit Elixir: timesuckapp@bitelixir.co
 
Now that you’ve created a username, let’s link it to your Patreon account!
 
STEP 2! 

From the App: First, make sure your Timesuck App is updated to the newest version. Then, click on the Secret Suck button. You’ll see a screen that says “For Space Lizards Only!”
 
Click “Preferences”. On the following screen, click “website”. This will bring up the mobile version of the web. 

** CURRENTLY,
YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE APP AND GO THE WEBSITE VERSION TO COMPLETE THIS STEP AND LINK ACCOUNTS. We will update this soon and make this process simpler! ** 

From the Website: Once on the mobile/desktop version of timesuckpodcast.com, click “preferences”. On the following page, click “Link Your Patreon”. On the following page on Patreon, you’ll see the message, “Timesuck needs permission to access information”. Click “Allow”. This will take you back to the Preferences page of the Timesuck website, where you should now see a button that says “Unlink Patreon”. Don’t push that button!! 

Now -  you need to reopen the app and sign out!  Once you've singed out - sign right back in and your new Space Lizard features should be active! Hail Nimrod! Again, if you can’t access the Secret Suck, Topic Voting, etc. - email the Bit Elixir team, timesuckapp@bitelixir.co

Website Space Lizard note!
You also need to log out on the web and log back in after first linking your Patreon account to use Space Lizard features on the web and mobile site.
A: That's for Space Lizards only! You can find it on Patreon HERE
A: For ALL merch/shipping questions and problems, email Kate at Axis Apparel Co. Kate and her husband are awesome! They’re also Space Lizards and pride themselves on customer service. Email Kate at kate@axisapparelco.com

If you don’t hear back in 72 hours or it is a time sensitive merch issue, you can also email the Queen of the Suck, Lynze, at lynze@timesuckpodcast.com
A: You don’t. You only get one chance at this and you fucking blew it. I hope you’re happy with yourself.

Kidding!

On the login page, click the forgot sign in link. Enter the email address you used to sign up, and click the Email Link button. You should recieve an email with instruction on how to reset your password. Don't forget to check your spam folder! If you are still having trouble email the Bit Elixir team, timesuckapp@bitelixir.co
A: You become a $5 a month Space Lizard to access this feature! Click HERE to sign up on Patreon!

Once you’re signed up, make sure you have allowed the Timesuck app to access your microphone!

On an iPhone, go into settings and then scroll down to the list of apps on your iPhone and click the Timesuck icon. Next to “Microphone”, make sure your slider is set to “on”. Once it is on,  follow these steps:

First: Open the Timesuck App or website and click the menu bar.

Second: Click the "Contact Me Mofo" button on the menu.

Third: Push the microphone button once to begin recording. The moment you push it, it should say “tap mic to stop recording" above the microphone and a light blue progress bar should start making its way around the microphone. You have up to 60 seconds to leave your message.

Fourth: Push the microphone button again to stop recording. You should now see the message “tap mic to play recording" above the microphone. To play back your message for review, hit the microphone button.

Fifth: If you like your message, hit the up arrow/“send” button to the right of the microphone button.  After clicking “send”, the words “sending” will appear above the microphone icon. Once the message has been sent, you’ll receive the confirmation message of “your message has been sent” above the microphone. Tap the microphone again to begin recording an additional message.

If you don’t like your message, tap the X/“delete" button to the left of the microphone button. Deleting a message resets the contact me mofo screen to accept a new message. The progress bar will disappear and you will be taken back to the third step. Push the mic button again to record a new message. 

If you have any other issues at all, please contact the Bit Elixir app design team: timesuckapp@bitelixir.co  


A: Please email us at bojangles@timesuckpodcast.com with the your topic in the email’s subject line and will add it to the list!

Or, you can message us through the app. Open up the “Contact Me Mofo” from the Timesuck app or website menu. Then, under “Write a Message”, add your email address, first and last name, and write your message in the appropriate boxes. Then, click the “Submit” button under the message box.

It should then say, “Sending”underneath the microphone button. Once your message has sent, it will say “Your message has been sent!” under the microphone button.

If you have any problems sending in a message through the app or website, please contact the Bit Elixir app and web design team: timesuckapp@bitelixir.co  



A: Go fuck yourself.

Kidding!

It makes Nimrod very sad, BUT - we get it if you’d like to listen to the Secret Suck on another app. Here’s how you do that:

Open up your web browser and go to my Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast. Click “Overview”.  Scroll down until you see “Audio RSS Link” right under “Your patronage”. You’ll see the link in a box - copy that link! 

Then, download the popular app, Castbox. It’s free. I’m sure there are other apps you can add RSS fees to as well. I'll just use this one as an example. At the top of the home screen, under the word “Discover”, is a search box. Paste the link you copied from Patreon into this search box and hit “Search”. The Secret Suck should come up with a “Subscribe” button to the right of the Secret Suck icon. Click “Subscribe”.

For iOs users who prefer to listen to the Secret Suck on an App other than the Timesuck app, it's now super easy to add the RSS feed to the podcast app that comes with your iPhone.  Go to my Patreon page. Click Overview. Scroll down until you see “Audio RSS Link” right under “Your patronage”. You’ll see the link in a box, click it so it’s highlighted and then click copy.

Open the Apple app simply called “Podcasts”, click “Library” at the bottom, and then you’ll see an edit button in the top right corner of your iPhone. Click it. Then click “Add a Podcast by URL”, and the just paste that link from Patreon! A “subscribed checkmark” will show up on your phone. Hit “done” and the Secret Suck should be right there. Worked first time for me.



A: First, you become a $5 a month Space Lizard! Click HERE to sign up on Patreon!

Once logged in as a Space Lizard, you can now vote for future Monday Timesuck topics! Just click "Topic Voting" on the menu of the app/website. Control the fate of Timesuck, Space Lizards! Steer the will of the Cult of the Curious as you see fit. You are allowed one up-vote and one down-vote for each topic during each voting period. Vote as many topics up and down as you want to! Voting resets at midnight PST on the 16th and the 1st of each of month.

There are so many topics on the list! If you don't want to scroll through all of them, use the search bar to find the topics you like. Find another podcast that offers this. I dare you! 

The winning topic with the most votes between the 1st - 15th becomes the topic of the following month’s first Monday Timesuck. The topic with the most votes between the 16th and the end of the month determines the next month’s third Monday’s topic. Winning topics are automatically removed from the voting list (as are other Timesuck episodes about topics from the list)

At the conclusion of each voting period, the votes for all topics reset to zero and you get to start all over again! Don’t see your topic on there? Submit the topic of your choice via the “Contact Me Mofo” messaging portion of the app/website or email us directly at bojangles@timesuckpodast.com with your topic listed in the email’s subject line.

If you’re experiencing technical difficulties while trying to vote, please contact the Bit Elixir app and web design team: timesuckapp@bitelixir.co  
A: First, you become a $5 a month Space Lizard! Click HERE to sign up on Patreon!

Once you're signed up on Patreon, first download the six Feel the Heat album tracks attached to this Patreon post (now that you've subscribed) by clicking HERE. Download the tracks into your computer's download folder by clicking each of the attached .mp3 track links at the bottom of the post.

Then, open all six tracks in iTunes by opening iTunes and clicking "File" from the main iTunes menu and then clicking “Add to Library…” from the submenu. Highlight the six Feel the Heat tracks you just downloaded and then click the “Open” button. Click “Recently Added” on the iTunes sidebar menu and your new album should appear in your library.

To listen on your iPhone/iPad, add your new album to a playlist that you have synced to your phone/iPad if you don’t sync your entire library with your phone/iPad. Until I make a custom tutorial, click HERE for a link to a great Youtube tutorial on how to add non-iTunes music to iTunes. Click HERE to watch a tutorial teaching how you to sync your iTunes music library with your iPhone/iPad.  Finally, click HERE to learn how to make an iTunes playlist.
A: First, you become a $5 a month Space Lizard! Click HERE to sign up on Patreon!

Once your signed up on Patreon, first download the six Feel the Heat album tracks attached to this Patreon post (now that you’ve subscribed) by clicking HERE. Download the tracks into your device’s download folder by clicking each of the attached .mp3 track links at the bottom of the post.

Then, open the "My Files" app. The six tracks will show up under "Recent Files". Click each track and they will either automatically transfer to whatever audio player you're using, OR, your phone will prompt you to select an audio player for these tracks and they will transfer once you choose that audio player.

Now that you’ve downloaded the .mp3s into your music player, open it up and enjoy! I use Google Play and the album shows up as it should and plays perfectly doing what I’ve just instructed.  
A: First, you become a $5 a month Space Lizard! Click HERE to sign up on Patreon!

Once your signed up on Patreon, first download the six Feel the Heat album tracks attached to this Patreon post (now that you’ve subscribed) by clicking HERE. Download the tracks into your PC’s download folder by clicking each of the attached .mp3 track links at the bottom of the post.
 
Now that you’ve downloaded the .mp3s onto your PC, open up your downloads folder and play the tracks by double clicking them. Enjoy!